Larry Smith Letter #3

Mountains and Valleys

 

     First of all I would like to thank you all for the responses I have received. They are full of hope and positive energy. I enjoy hearing that my words have touched someone and maybe made a difference. In fact I have made a difference, Charlie, Second Hand Buzz's drummer and fellow singer, has been cigarette free for 7 days now. Way to go Charlie. If you have any moments of weakness give me a call and I will do my best to talk you off that nicotine ledge.

     I am officially 1/3 of the way through my treatment. I will continue to mark these as milestones to my cure and recovery. I can equate this journey as climbing Mt Everest. I realize now that the 1st 2 weeks were just setting up the base camp. Getting supplies ready, riding back to village on my Yak for forgotten items, checking the weather and learning about my group of sherpas whom I will be climbing with.

     The hard part is starting to come into view. There are changes taking place, the climb steeper. I am losing my taste, something we all take for granted and let me tell you it's a big one. Everything tastes like cardboard or a better description is poi. Poi is a Hawaiian food made from the Taro plant. Poi is the stuff all tourists put on their plate to try and ends up in the napkin they had in their lap. Things you've never heard said about poi: 1) Wow this would taste great on a cracker 2) I see a new ice cream flavor  3) Wow how have they kept this such a secret.  Things you do hear about poi 1) yeecchhh  2) this is what I use to fix cracks in the walls  3) why is it purple it doesn't taste purple.  Ok I got sidetracked, sorry.  They say my taste will return in 2-3 months. In the meantime I've opted for sound and texture and the winner is Grape Nuts!!

       My throat and mouth are starting to become sore, this will increase as the climb continues. But I was told to not stop singing in fact it is a great form of exercise for my throat muscles. So by doctors orders Second Hand Buzz and I will be playing at the Monitor Inn Saturday March 20th in downtown Monitor Or. I will be singing as much as I can. I look forward to the challenge. Music is an amazing form of therapy and I plan to immerse myself in this. I plan on singing my way to the top of that mountain and once I stand at the summit I will then sing my way back down.

        My Sherpa, Dr Gagnon, states that Limpy is indeed getting smaller and that I am well prepared for the trek to the top. My spirit guide Naya, the dolphin, continues to assist me along with her pod of 300, such strength. I rely heavily on her and her friends.

     The valleys are going to come in the form of pain and discomfort but I will draw on my friends energy to overcome those moments. The mountains are my friends and family and the doctors and nurses that work with me. Charlie your a mountain too!!

      I thank you all for your kind words and wishes, that sort of help will get me to the top of Mt Everest and back safely.

     Until next week, take care all.    Larry

Larry Smith Letter #2

Report and Rant

 

      Hello all, I am approaching the middle of week 2 of my treatment and considering I probably glow in the dark I am doing very well. What they have in mind for me is 3 chemo shots spread out over  6 weeks and  7 weeks of 5x a week radiation. At this point I have 1 chemo and 7 radiations down, go boy!!!!   In the immortal words of Paul Rodgers and Jimmy Page " Turn me on tonight I' m Radioactive".

      The doctor stated tonight he feels significant reduction in the size of the tumor.  Go Go Boy!!! In an effort to personalize my plight I have named my tumor " Limpy", I know some of you are going WTF but it's not his fault, in fact I'm not sure whose fault it is but at this point playing the blame game would be counterproductive to my new zen like philosophy. In fact to take it to an even higher level I am sending "limpy" huge amounts of love and forgiveness. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that really angry people don't live as long or as happy as those who surround themselves with love and compassion. My new mantra, "Love is all you need" (lennon/McCartney)

       I am still chanting my way through the treatments, I find it very calming and helpful. As for my gray slippery friend I have also named him, it just seemed appropriate since we are spending so much time together. I call him Naya, it is the Hawaiian word for dolphin and he really likes it!! so there to all the people that think if the table tilts anymore there won't be any marbles left.Pffftht 

     I now have enlisted all of Naya's pod to help me. I know the strength from my friends is immeasurable and has no limit. I use their energy to take to and from the the doctors appointments and to boost myself in times of waning hope. I will not subject him to any radiation treatment for as formidable of a spirit he has I do not think he would comprehend why and what is going on. I release him to go chase fish and frolic in the ocean until I need him again. As a matter of fact he says enck enck enck to you all. I am so grateful to have that source to rely on. My message to you all  DOLPHIN FREE TUNA ONLY!!!!

       Since my initiation into the cancer club my eyes have been forced wide open, to say I turned a blind eye would be a huge understatement. If you have never had anyone in your life impacted by this you are extremely lucky and I hope that luck holds forever. I have seen small children who have no idea what is going on with them and they still hold on to that innocent smile and laughter of childhood, god bless these children they are truly the white knights that stand between good and evil. They laugh they play and I cry, not because I'm sad, okay I'm sad, but because I am so moved by their will, fortitude and endurance.

      I see people of all ages in varying stages of disease and cure and the health workers that tend to these souls are a very special breed. Evidently the angels are not just limited to jobs in heaven.  God bless them.

      Now for my rant. The cancer I have is normally the kind that affects people who are cigarette smokers. Having never smoked a cigarette in my life, well it it what it is. I could blame it on all the second hand smoke I've inhaled in all the bars I've played in but remember love not anger. What really gets to me is I see strangers, I see friends, I see family with a cigarette in your hand. Are you truly that stupid!!! Yes stupid!!!  You've been kicked out of every decent establishment in the country If you don't have the balls to quit killing yourself then come into my world and see what happens " When Cigarettes Attack"    I'm done    Larry

 

      PS  I'm sure I've pissed some smokers off. good or maybe I poked them in their blind eye.

a Hawaiian Holistic Holiday

There are things in life that you can't explain, random acts that fall into place. It must mean that these things are pre determined or part of a plan of some kind. Enough of my rambling, you decide.

I had planned a trip to the big island before the C word came into play. I was informed that my Hawaiian airline miles would expire on the first of march and I had enough for a round trip ticket and also had a friend I could stay with, beaches on a budget, got to love it.

My first consultation with the Chemo guy, I mentioned that I was going to the big Island to find a Hawaiian healer. I had a friend (paul) that had made a visit there about 4 years ago and told me a story of an old full blood Hawaiian lady who was a healer. The problem was that I hadn't heard from this friend in almost 2 years and his phone # no longer worked. (Here's random act part #1), on the Friday before I was to leave he called me out of the blue for a question about a farm machine. I explained my situation and the need for info and directions to the healer. Paul said he would look at a map and get back to me, I was to call him when I got over there.

My sister Carole works at a health food store in Eugene and she has been a great source of information and emotional support. Her coworkers have been a bevy of info also assisting her in research and support --- Evergreen Nutrition---(Shameless plug #1).

A lady came in with a bunch of books that she gave away free and my sister picked up one.(random act #2) It was by Dr Sha(Shameless plug #2) whose premise is that through chanting one can access healing properties in ones own mind and through his help and guidance you can receive supplemental downloads from within the book from him.

Carole decided that this was a good book for me take with me, she gave me her copy (random act #3). Thank You Carole,

In getting ready for the trip I had bought a bunch of books on cancer and in the last pack I decided I was going to leave anything negative behind. The books on cancer didn't make the cut but Dr sha's did.(random act #4)

Maybe the islands have a magic all their own, you can find peace and tranquility in almost any place. The people are friendly as long as you show respect to them and their island. They are happy to see you and also happy to see you go, just the nature of a tourist based economy.

I called Paul who had the healer info. He told me to go to pu'ukohola heiau a temple built for King Kamehameha 1 so he could unite all of the island under one ruler.

I was to ask for a lady called Ma'ala. It was a park service operation and I met a very nice ranger named George. I explained my quest and he said he had not heard of this woman but he could ask Auntie Martha who had been there many years but was not in today. He would try to call her and suggested I take the 45 min walk. Good suggestion I enjoyed the walk and the knowledge of how Hawaii became united.

When I returned he said she had not heard of this lady but gave me 2 #s of healers I called both #s and only one of them called me back. (random act #5) I scheduled an appointment with her.

In the meantime I had begun to read Dr sha's book and found it quite interesting and very helpful in my condition I was soon going to have to deal with. I felt very strange and positive changes taking hold of me, subtle but none the less present. It was teaching me how to remove negative thoughts and attitudes, how to use love and forgiveness to help cure yourself and through practice of chanting one could heal anything. Wow #1

The healer www.drjanellison.com (shameless plug #3 ) She explained that she would help inform the mind of whats going on in the body. The mind has the power to heal the body the problem is that we have been programmed to turn away from what we can't touch or see. Through a series of touching on the head and body she awakened my mind to the problems in my body, she removed stress and did a small amount of acupuncture. When I rose from the table I felt as though I could of flew through the ceiling. She stated she had removed about 1000 years of stress and had awakened my mind to problems of my body so it could begin to heal. Thank You Dr Jan. Wow #2

I continued my readings and chanting at a place I call my happy place it was on a rock wall facing the ocean in Kona. Very beautiful very peaceful. My friend, Danny, who I was staying with, came by after his bike ride to my happy place and noticed the book I was reading by Dr Sha and commented that he knew people who work with Dr Sha and he gave them a call to see if they would meet with me. ( random act #6) They agreed and I went to See Jan and Al. Very nice people with big hearts and full of love and care. If I was to chant every chant in the book that Dr Sha suggests I wouldn't have time to sleep. So I explained my situation and asked for the chants that would best address my conditions.

They answered many questions and did some chanting with me. They gave me some soul songs to sing to boost my body. They did a reading on me and felt very strong that I was going to come through this with remarkable success and would open up doors for me to help many other people. Thank you Jan and Al Wow #3

My trip was nearing it's end and I was going to go diving with Danny the next day. Danny works for Big Island Divers (Shameless plug # 4). Danny drove so I went and did a nice solo dive saw all my old fish friends, listened to the whale songs and the clicks and whistles of the dolphins. Underwater is just amazing the peacefulness and the lack of outside electronic stimuli, just bliss. During the surface interval Danny found a huge pod of dolphins. Now as a dive instructor on Maui for 2 1/2 years I have seen maybe 1000 dolphins underwater and maybe 10,000 on the surface. They are always beautiful and gracious creatures. I got in the water to snorkel with them. They are usually a little shy and standoffish of people, but not this pod. As i was in the water I began to chant "Devine soul of the dolphin please heal me thank you devine" over and over again. They were all around me at mostly distances of 40 feet, so I free dove to about 35 feet and floated there, still chanting Looking at dolphins below me when I felt something rub against my leg I turned and a dolphin had come up to me and touched me and then looked me in the eye and swam circles around me as I ascended to the surface he then splashed through the water and followed me down again and took off back to the surface. All the snorklers at the surface were amazed at what they had seen, the hair on my arms may never go down. ( random act # 7) Wow #4

I had 1 more appointment with Dr Jan and told her to prepare my mind and body for the medical side of things to come. My condition on our last visit was positive and calm, no stress all parts of my body were in a very good place ready for the next course. I told of my dolphin encounter and she said it was a very good sign and dolphins have an amazing ability to heal. Wow #5

I now have a new slippery gray friend to chant through when I go through all the upcoming procedures. I am in a very good place emotionally and spiritually to begin my next and final chapter in this health issue.

Thanks to Paul, Carole, the lady who brought the book, Dr Sha, George and Auntie Martha, Dr Jan, Jan and Al, Danny, The dolphin and most of all my wife Jo who allowed me to take this trip, I know this was difficult for her not being with me I love you honey and you will be my rock through the rest of this path.

Larry